By Bryan D. Cook
Orleans, Ontario, Canada
It’s a taboo topic in polite society, but the ads don’t hold their punches when it comes to extolling the virtues of triple-ply, soft and scented toilet paper as tested by a family of teddy bears! My own testing shows that I have to fold many pieces to gain satisfaction; using many rolls and thus increasing the company’s profits.
That is until I discover its high tensile-strength brand, 100 percent recycled with a promise to plant one tree per carton. No plastic wrapping and a fair price.
I’m so happy with this product that I write the company, congratulating on its commitment to ecological sustainability. A thank-you email from the quality control division asks for my home address so that a token of appreciation may be sent. This wasn’t my motive but, nonetheless, it’s a nice gesture.
Friends speculate that a tractor trailer may off-load a year’s supply on my driveway for all the neighborhood to share, or I may be subscribed to a lifetime of toilet paper.
Finally, a letter arrives enclosing a $5 coupon off my next purchase. Heavens, labour and postage cost more than that! And this largess is coming from a corporate giant whose website boasts at being “unapologetically human.” I’m left wondering if miserliness is one of its human traits.
Marley’s ghost
converts Ebenezer Scrooge
an unlikely tale
Marley’s ghost
rattling the chains
of corporate greed
climate change
converts Ebenezer Scrooge
threadbare apartment
his inheritance
under the mattress
an unlikely tale
big pharma
caring for addicts
“Bah, humbug!”
Marley’s Ghost and Ebenezer Scrooge are characters from Charles Dickens’
A Christmas Carol, first published in 1843.